My Mess, His Message

Archive for September, 2015

Why Do I Pray for the Opposite of What I Really Want?

A few nights ago, I caught myself praying for something that I really didn’t want.  After thanking God for all that He’s given me and all that He’s done for me, I prayed for a few things that were on my heart as I usually do.

I prayed for some friends that are going through hard times and a few people who are close to me that God has really pressed me to think about and pray for.  Then, I found myself praying for comfort in a situation that has caused me quite a bit of consternation.

This particular situation has caused my heart to hurt, caused anxiety and tension in one of my relationships and has just generally been a source of unrest in my life recently.  I’ve been ready to reconcile the situation as much as I am able and have started to work towards that.  As I was praying, I expressed my desire for this situation to be “back to normal”, where there is peace, comfort and no longer any tension.

That’s when it hit me.  I was praying for what was “easy”.  I really don’t want comfort in this situation.  I don’t want comfort in my life.  What I really want is to be bold and courageous for Christ.  I want to be able to speak up for who He is and what He has convicted me to believe and do – and I want to be able to do that without fear.

The truth is that this situation in my life, like many others, has caused such unrest because I’ve been afraid to speak up about what God has laid on my heart.  I’ve been afraid of rejection first and foremost and I’ve been afraid of losing the relationship all together.

I realized that I need to be praying for the boldness and courage that only God can provide.  I need to pray for Him to take over my words, thoughts and deeds and use me as a vessel for His purpose.  I need to pray for comfort and security in my foundation in Christ, not comfort in anything else.

When I am doing God’s will and being bold for Him, there will often be times of discomfort and persecution – Jesus tells us that.

“You will be hated by all because of My name, but it is the one who has endured to the end who will be saved.  – Matthew 10:22

“Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.  For I came to SET A MAN AGAINST HIS FATHER, AND A DAUGHTER AGAINST HER MOTHER, AND A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AGAINST HER MOTHER-IN-LAW; and A MAN’S ENEMIES WILL BE THE MEMBERS OF HIS HOUSEHOLD. – Matthew 10:34-36

There will be people who disagree with what I say.  There will be people who are offended by what I say.  I shouldn’t be surprised or run away from that.  Rather, I need to understand that these things will happen and then rest in my Lord and trust that He will fulfill His purpose in the situation.

To combat my own anxiety, discomfort and fears, I have to remember these words:

“Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous!  Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”  – Joshua 1:9

‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’  – Isaiah 41:10

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.  – 1 Peter 5:7

I have to remember that God is bigger than I am and that it is His will that is to be done – not my own.

I have to be careful of what I pray for and be careful not to pray for the opposite of what God’s will really is.  After all, my desire is to do His will – not to live a comfortable life (unless He wills it!).

What I’ve Learned:

  • I need to pay attention to what I pray for and be careful that I’m not praying against God’s will.
  • My comfort comes through my relationship with God, not in avoiding conflict.
  • There will be uncomfortable situations and circumstances in my life and I need to be OK with that, understanding that God will fulfill His purpose in it.
  • God is bigger than I am.

Refining Time:

  • What are you currently praying for?
  • Are you praying against God’s will?  Against what you truly want/need?
  • How can you adjust your perspective to allow God’s will to be your own?
  • How can you invite God’s will into your life?

If you need prayer, I would love to pray with you.  Please contact me privately.

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