My Mess, His Message

Archive for October, 2015

Mr. Right

The day was just like any other.  I had gone to work, just like any day.  I had probably walked down the street to get my massive morning Dr. Pepper, just like I did every day.   Then I had to walk down the hall in my office building to the restroom, just like any other day.  But this was no ordinary day.  This day started my obsession with the “cute boy at Sono”.  (Sono was the company he worked for.)

I saw him through the office window of the company he worked at – on the same floor as the bank I worked for in downtown Austin, TX.  He was tall, had dark brown hair and oh, so handsome!  He was pacing in the reception area of his office with a headset on – clearly, he was on the phone.

The next day I saw him again.  Same pacing, same headset and same super-cute demeanor.  Day after day I saw this cute boy from Sono.  I found myself going to the restroom more frequently than normal  – and not because of my daily 32 oz. Dr. Pepper!

Then there was the day I rode the elevator with him!  Oh my gosh!  I was so close to him!!  And I was so super-shy that I couldn’t say a word…  I just stood in the back corner of the elevator keeping to myself!  I’m sure I would have embarrassed myself if I had opened my mouth to say anything…

I never imagined that I would ever have a chance with the cute by from Sono.  Especially because I couldn’t find a way to speak when I was around him!

One evening after work I was sitting in the receptionist area of the bank chatting with one of my co-workers and in he walks!  I was so startled!  He had come in to talk with her about organizing a happy hour between our two offices.  They had a few single guys…  We had a few single girls…

He introduced himself to me and we talked for about half a minute.  Then he turned his attention to my coworker to commence the planning.  I felt so awkward sitting there while they talked (and I had a lot of work to do), so I excused myself and went back to my desk to finish up my work.

The next day he came back into our office and he stopped at my desk!  I think my heart was beating so fast that I could barely breathe.  He was SO CUTE!!  I hardly remember the conversation we had, but I remember he asked me for my email address, so I gave him one of my cards that would have all of my contact info on it.

A little while later, he emailed me and we started a conversation that hasn’t stopped to this day!  Yes, I married cute boy from Sono – but not before we had a wild ride of a courtship.

His version of how we met and started talking is very different from mine, but we won’t get into that story.  He can start his own blog and tell his side – but since this is mine, this is the version you get!  J  (Love you, Honey!)

We hit it off on our first date!  He was so fascinating to me – and OH SO CUTE!!  (Did I mention he was cute!?)  He took me to a nice dinner.   We talked and laughed and then it was so hard to end the date at the end of the night.  I knew instantly that he would be a significant relationship in my life.

Pretty much from our second date onward, we were inseparable.  I knew then that I’d marry him one day.  We saw each other all of the time and really never left each other’s side.  Sounds great, right?

Well, this is where we started making some really bad decisions for our relationship.  There’s a reason that you go through a courtship and date.  There’s a reason why (when you’re ready) you get married – and then move in together – and then start a family.

We did not follow God’s design for marriage.  We did not follow God’s design for a relationship.  We were young and carefree and were living for the moment.

It wasn’t long before we started having problems in our relationship.  The fighting would be so volatile.  Don’t get the wrong idea…  The fighting was never physical (unless I was the aggressor), but the yelling and screaming was intense.  And the strong emotion that went along with it was so powerful.

We broke up multiple times and then we’d chase each other.  If I broke up with him, he’d do everything he could to get me back.  If he broke up with me, I’d be devastated and do everything I could to get him back.  We played this cat and mouse game for almost a year!

And then he proposed.  I knew it was coming, but that didn’t make it any less special.  Of course I said “yes”!  Who wouldn’t want to marry the cute boy from Sono!?

Even though we were engaged to be married, we still were making poor choices in our relationship.  I practically lived with him from our second date onward.  I literally moved in with him after we got engaged.  But. We. Weren’t. Married.

We hadn’t really addressed any of our “issues”.  While we didn’t fight a lot, we still fought – and when we did, it would be a doozie.  It wouldn’t be for a few more years that we really dealt with our issues.  Clearly I had some baggage from my previous life and he had some things he was carrying with him as well.

We were going to church together while we dated and were engaged, but we still weren’t living the lifestyle that God would want for us.  We deliberately went against His model for a relationship and marriage.  After all… who “waited” anymore for their wedding night?  (A lot of people, I would later learn.)

Had we followed God’s model for a relationship, I can only imagine that we wouldn’t have had to deal with some of the things that we did – and that we still do.

Do we still fight the way we did back then?  No way!  But we do still have disagreements from time to time – who doesn’t!?  We have come so far in our relationship over the years and I am so thankful that my hubby is in my life.  He is my best friend, my biggest advocate and my favorite companion.

In some future posts, I’ll share about how far off track we got in our relationship and how God restored us.  Believe me – there’s no way the two of us could have come back together without the help and direction of our Heavenly Father.  We truly needed divine intervention!

Thinking back to the time that my husband and I dated – those were some of my highest highs and my lowest lows.  He was so influential in my life – and rightfully so – I married him!  But, he shouldn’t have been my WHOLE world.  I should have had a foundational relationship with God and our relationship together should have been anchored in Christ.  But it wasn’t at that time.

I had found my Mr. Right – but we had done everything wrong…

What I’ve Learned:

  • We didn’t follow God’s model for a relationship and that resulted in heartache and instability.
  • We bring whatever effects previous relationships and experiences have on us into new relationships.
  • Emotions can be a very powerful force, driving actions and reactions that you might not normally have.
  • A relationship that isn’t anchored in Christ is destined to be a wild ride. A relationship that is anchored in Christ is secured with a solid foundation that can help through any storm.
  • Cute boy from Sono is a good kisser!! He’s a keeper!

Refining Time:

  • Have you ever had a relationship that was truly a “live for the moment” relationship?  What was the experience like?
  • Have you ever had a relationship that is anchored in Christ? What was that experience like?
  • Are you in a relationship now that needs a Godly foundation? How can you change it?  How can you invite God into your relationship?

If you need prayer or would like to talk about anything in this article, please contact me privately.  I’d love to pray for you!

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